Something I wrote with levity this past summer.
After treated a mysterious and painful rash on my hands with super duper cortisone infused hand cream and an intense and long prednisone session, the dermatologist froze off this very old wart that has lived on the palm of my hand since jeez I don’t know know when really. I just know it’s been gross and I’ve tried to get rid of it myself… Although I am super duper chicken shit and would not let a doctor freeze if off because I’m sure it would have felt like someone was holding a match to the delicate skin of my palm. I just hate pain. But I relented this time. And of course, it kinda worked, but not really. The skin kinda puffed up, never turned black, but just kinda looked like a big blister. This is the “Alien” part… the skin came off with the old part of the wart, and nestled so sweetly and sinisterly amongst the tender muscle tissue of my upper palm, close to my middle finger, was a little, tiny, fresh looking wart baby. I could almost see it suckling. So creepy. And if I was a brave person, I would have purchased that wart freeze off stuff at the CVS and poured it into the open wound to finally eradicate the wart… But no, I must be part synthetic human because I simply covered it with a bandaid, allowing it to live, fully knowing that it will grow and thrive like its big mama wart had for the last 10 years.
But that’s not what this story is about.
This story is about being an American.
The Bison, or rather bison bison bison, whatever that means… Why 3 bisons?… Is it a trinity thing? The bison, she is back. There are a bunch of them living out west at Ted Turners ranch. He gets to eat as much bison bison bison as he can stomach and as well gets to feed a bunch of hungry Americans bison bison bison because he owns a bunch of restaurants that serve bison bison bison. This week, obama, our current president at the writing of this wart infused bison related piece of silliness, has designated the bison as our national beast. I like having a national beast. Makes me wonder if I have a bison living inside me and not really a wild boar. Since I really don’t know if it is a boar or not, I suppose I should take a few minutes to consider the specific characteristics of a bison… ( bison bison..)
It is big. Much bigger than I am so what am I thinking.
It is very furry… But then, so is the wild boar.
It is legendary. It has been hunted to the point of extinction… So unlike the wild boar which has been let loose to duplicate and prosper and then make more babies and prosper some more.
Although they both have been hunted … Mowed down in droves.
The bison eats a lot of grass.. The boar will eat anything.
I’m certain that the bison does not reproduce as vehemently as the boar, but I’ll need to check into that.
Bison bison bison